Portsmouth Couples Counselling
Posted on 5 Apr, 2011 in Portsmouth Counselling Services | 0 commentsCouple’s Relationship Counselling is a therapeutic intervention for relationships that are in distressing conflict.
The therapy model is systemic & psychodynamic based. The therapist & process helps couples to perturb their relationship “system” enough so that they open up new space for inspiration, experimentation and new ways of relating. It’s not just for intimate relationships, neither – platonic relationships are welcome too. Couples counselling also assists couples who are considering separating either before or whilst engaging in couples counselling.
Couple Relationship Counselling.
Portsmouth Couple Relationship Counselling may be suitable for any relationship between two people that is in conflict. Initially we’ll meet in my Portsmouth/Southsea private practice to discuss the process and to learn if the process can be helpful for the couple. If it cannot we’ll discuss other options and referrals.
Relationships that can be a candidate for couple relationship counselling:-
- Marriage
- Civil Partnerships.
- Intimate Relationships made of hetero- homo- or mixed-orientation couples.
- Platonic Professional / Business Partnerships.
- Friends/room-mates/accommodation sharing etc.
… and you don’t even need to be a resident of Portsmouth … you both just have to be able to get to my practice in Southsea, Hampshire.
An Overview of the Counselling Process.
- Couple meet together along with the counsellor weekly.
- Identify and agree what should be the focus of the counselling work.
- Learn about the relationship “system” … what’s happening in the way that the couple relates to each other. Learn about what the couple believes is going wrong, learn about the disagreements.
- Hypotheses – be curious towards what the couple thinks is making the relating system go astray (hypotheses are held lightly as they can change as more information about the relationship system is discovered).
- What does each individual’s past history bring into the relationship.
- State the obvious – the therapist helps the couple learn about their behaviour from the perspective of a neutral observer. This information may feed into the hypotheses.
- Theorise on what triggers the system’s conflicts. Theorise on how the triggers can be changed / shifted / perturbed.
Continue the hypothesising, theorising and perturbing process upon the focus of the relationship until sufficient change comes into effect so that the counselling can conclude.
How can Relationship Counselling help?
Perturbing the Relationship.
Relationships can become stuck in patterns of behaviour. An example might be if you have every said (or thought) during a discussion or an argument:- “you ALWAYS say that” or “you ALWAYS do that.”
By becoming stuck, the relationship is unable to move past conflicts and the couple are left feeling helpless when relationship behaviour does not change.
Relationship counselling uses systemic methods from Family Therapy to:-
- Learn how the relationship’s system operates.
- Be curious as to how conflicts come about.
- Investigate how the relationship appears to choose a conflict over choosing a negotiated resolution.
- Simplify communication so that important things “get through”!
- Invite inspiration so as to make small changes that perturb the relationship’s system & breaks the conflicts.
Preparing for Separation.
Sometimes relationship conflicts can not be worked through. This may be due to one or both partners simply not wishing to invest any longer in resolving the conflicts and wishing to move on.
Relationship Counselling can assist a couple in separating on amicable terms.
Arrange an appointment for Couples Counselling in Portsmouth.
See my appointments page for more information about meeting with me for counselling in Portsmouth and Southsea, Hampshire.
Contact me…Tags: Couples Counselling, Portsmouth Counselling, Psychodynamic Counselling, Systemic Counselling
